I'm Trying To Find Myself
Have you ever heard someone say this "I need to go spend some time alone so I can find myself"?
What do they do they mean by this? Don't they know where they are now?
These people think they have to separate themselves from all the events and relationships of life to really find out "who" they are.
But this is impossible...the events of your life, the people in your life, and the things you do [or have done] make you who you are.
Some people act as if there were some mystical realm that the "real" them existed in, and they just need to discover that place
...they will look, and look...in vain.
Have you ever heard someone say..."I know they did some pretty horrible things...but deep down inside they are really a nice person.”?
Again we see the dividing of who we are from what we do and how we interact with others...this is a mistake.
If a person were allowed to see himself 200 years in the future what would he see?
Where would he “find himself”?
If he were to not have trusted in Jesus Christ [the fullness of the God-head bodily] for the forgiveness of his sins then he would be lost. He would be in the place of eternal damnation, the outer darkness…cut off from all other beneficial relationships…
…he would be alone [festering in all his sins and lusts].
A person who has trusted in Christ has now been brought into a new relationship with the God who created him.
This God has within His nature unity and community.
Community is essential to the Triune God’s nature.
For all eternity God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit lived in perfect communion.
A loving, sacrificial [putting the needs of the other above yourself] relationship.
This person no longer “merely” receives his identity individually…he is now a member of the Body of Christ, the Church, the communion of the saints.
200 years in the future he would see himself in perfect fellowship with an innumerable multitude from every tribe, tongue and nation…all living in perfect unity and community.
If a person wants to ready himself for heaven then he needs to “find himself” in the context of community and not individualism.
Individualism…trying to “find yourself” apart from other people and events in life…consistently lived out… is preparing you for one place and one place only.
…the place of outer darkness…where community and relationships will be no more.
There will be no party in hell...because a party presupposes community, relationship, and fellowship.
posted by Dale Callahan at 6:34 PM
5 Comments:
You are certainly correct that in order to "find yourself" you need a community. To act as an individualist, to assume that everything revolves around you and your needs and desires, is a recipe for disaster.
That said, the question then becomes which community should be the context in which you look for meaning? What qualities should that community possess? What are you required to give up in order to achieve full membership in that community?
A community that is exclusivist - sees itself as right and all others as wrong -- is merely a social construct of individualism. A community that places itself above all others in the world is again no better than arrogant individualism. A community that requires you to reject all other human communities in order to be a "real" member is clearly too insecure in itself to be of any value.
A community that will help one find oneself is one that helps a person grow emotionally and intellectually. One that is accepting of others who have differing points of view. One that views its role as serving the entire human community rather than simply being self-serving. One that doesn't seek embrace the entire human community rather than shut them out.
Unfortunately the typical fundamentalist Christian community does not provide these minimum standards. It seeks to restrict intellectual development of its members, to restrain their behavior by arbitrarily labeling some behaviors bad and others good. It views itself as the possessor of all truth and others as damned fools. And lastly, it seeks to control its members through fear - fear of an eternal punishment in whose existence they are required to believe.
I would encourage any person seeking to "find themselves" to avoid fundamentalist Christian churches as though they were contaminated with the bird flu.
How big does a community have to be before it out grows your definition. Ten million, a hundred million...maybe a billion?
If you have two groups [just for example] and each group disagreed with the other would both sides be exclusivist, or just the side that didn't agree with you?
Because you are in your large group of unbelief where you have certain fundamentals that you agree on...although there are many smaller issues you do not agree on.
Christianity has foundational truths it stands on...and lesser truths that Christians disagree on.
In order to keep people away from being exclusivists you encourage them to exclude fellowship with Christians...hmmm, in order that they can be a part of your "exclusivist" [unbelieving] group...very clever. I can see why you are in the business your in [are you a "head hunter" in New York?], if not you should be.
Now, you speak of "arbitrarily labeling some behaviors bad and others good".
A sin you place on the Christians door mat.
What universal, absolute standard do you label behaviors bad or good?
If you don't have a standard...and even go so far as saying that there absolutely is no such standard...then isn't all of your labelling of behaviors, whether they be "so called" bad or good be arbitrary?
Welcome back DL...I knew I would be seeing you with this on ;-]
One community can disagree with another on some issues without being exclusivist. They don't have to consider the other community damned to hell - that would be exclusivist.
Your thesis was that for an individual to "find themselves" they should join a community (yours I assume) that has rigid beliefs, curtails inquiry that has a possibility of challenging those beliefs, condemns those who are outside the group, and requires conformity to its belief system. That is not a recipe for finding one's self, it is a recipe for losing one's self (in fact there's a handy Bible verse on that as I recall).
If self-actualization is the goal, joining a fundamentalist Christian community is hardly the answer.
I am saying that to truly find yourself is to realize that you are not "merely" an individual but rather true existence [blissfully] is to belong to the Body of Christ...the Church.
Sure you can belong to the American Atheist Society...in the end you will be alone...in the outer darkness.
"...to truly find yourself is to realize that you are not "merely" an individual..." - with that I agree. However, the connection one needs to make to rise beyond narcissistic individualism is with others collectively, not with a specific religious group. Those who "love their neighbor as themselves" have found some truth. Belonging to a specific religious group may or may not be helpful, depending on its beliefs, its leadership, and its focus.
Choosing atheism is not at all antithetical to "finding yourself". Some of the greatest humans, those who have emptied themselves out to help others, are atheists. Belief is not relevant - action is relevant.
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