The Razor's Edge
They say that revenge is a dish best served cold…and even though the initial taste may bring temporary satisfaction to your hunger, this satisfaction quickly sours, leaving an empty hollowness in its place.
One of the ever growing duties of my life has been that of shaving. At one time, I only had to shave the front side of my head, otherwise known as my face. A few years back, when my follicle sparseness became unbearable…I began to shave my whole head. At least that way my baldness became a choice and not a pattern of maleness that was forced upon me.
When you shave, the mirror becomes your friend. He helps you see angles that otherwise might go unseen. When you shave, you look ‘face to face’ with the guy in which you are shaving. You look into the face of your alter-ego…your reflected self.
What would it be like to look into the mirror and see, not only your face, but the face of someone else as well? Not just every now and then…but every time the razor drug across your skin, you could not help but ‘see’ the face of someone else at the exact same time. The only thing is, as your face got older, the other face would remain the same, young, and unchanged by the hands of father time. A face of an enemy from long ago. A face that changed your face permanently.
I believe it takes far greater strength and sacrifice to forgive someone of an evil they have done against you, than it is to pay that person back. Justice is giving someone what they deserve. Mercy is giving someone what they do NOT deserve!
When you forgive someone, you are releasing them to God, and at the very same time you are releasing yourself. God alone is the ultimate Judge. He alone can read our hearts perfectly. If we forgive someone and hand them over to God, in the end they will answer to God for that evil, if they never truly repent of that evil then they will answer to God.
If you do not forgive, you will be eaten and destroyed by hatred and bitterness. The Bully who tormented you years ago may have well forgotten all of his tormenting words and actions…but these very same words and actions can eat at the tormented.
This is a lesson I learned later in life…but I am glad I learned it…because it can take a lot of built up hatred and bitterness and send them packing, never to bother me again.
My prayer is that the man who shaves his face each day…and sees my 16 year old face, reflected back at him in the mirror, has also learned this valuable lesson.
Huge changes happen in a boy’s life from the time he is 13 years old, till the time he is close to hitting 17. His body is changing from boy to man. After my summer time beating in grade eight I bought myself a set of weights and began to diligently work out every day. I also loved arm wrestling and found myself “twisting wrists” on a daily basis. Both of these activities, day after day, for three years, packed on around 30 to 40 pounds of lean muscle mass to my young wiry body. Bringing me from 135 pounds up to 175 pounds. During this same time frame I grew in height from around 5’9 to close to six feet tall. The boy from grade eight was gone, and someone new stood in his shoes.
I was now in grade eleven. I found myself at a house party, mixed with some high school kids and also an older group who frequented the rougher bars in the downtown area. As per usual I found myself half cut, but had limited myself to drinking ‘beer only’ because the whiskey really seemed to work a mean streak in me. The party was going along great, music was blaring, people were partying, everyone was having a good time. Across the room my eye caught the familiar face of my girl friend. Neither of us smiled or moved towards the other. We were in the midst of one of our many squabbles. With her eyes fixed on mine, she pulled out a cigarette, lit it, took a deep drag, and blew the smoke across the room in my direction. I felt my teeth clench, and my face flush. We had recently made the decision together to stop smoking, and her actions were the equivalent to giving me the one finger wave. With masterful timing, just as my girlfriend was blowing smoke towards me, someone with a bottle of rye whiskey walked up to me and offered me a drink. I had not only stopped smoking, but I had promised my girlfriend that I wouldn’t drink whiskey because of the ugly things it encouraged me to say and do. While not breaking my glare across the room, I grabbed the bottle and chugged down a few big gulps, feeling the whiskey burn down my throat. I whooped, laughed and took another swig. My girlfriend grabbed her friends hand and exited the party. She had seen this scene one time too many. She knew that the potion I was drinking turned me, more often than not, from Jekyll into Hyde, and she wanted nothing to do with Hyde. She made a very wise decision that night for Mr. Hyde was going to crash the party to reveal depths of his monstrous nature never seen before.
After a few more drinks of whiskey a bunch of guys started arm wrestling, the testosterone was beginning to flow. Wanting to prove my stuff I joined the action. After several matches with different opponents I found my aggressive side growing. I was lying on the floor in the middle of an arm wrestle, when all of a sudden I saw a face in the crowd of partiers that stuck in my brain like a knife. It was him! It was the guy who had humiliated me, taunted me and abused me years earlier! He was at the same party! I immediately pulled from the arm to arm combat that I was involved in, to entered into a more violent arena. As I quickly walked up to him, I felt my hatred rage within me. I pushed through other people and stood right before him, with a triumphant grin on my face. He looked at me, seemingly oblivious to who I was. We didn’t play the guessing game. I openly and loudly told him who I was, and why I was standing before him. He wore no bullying grin on his face now. He informed me that he had just gotten out of jail and that he didn’t want any trouble, he didn’t want to break parole. I told him that I didn’t care what he wanted or didn’t want and gave him a violent shove which sent him tumbling backward. No response, no retaliation. I called him out, I called him every dirty and demeaning name I could! Nothing. I was beside myself, hatred was eating me and fueling me at the same time. I continued to challenge him and he continued to refuse. Finally he sat down on a chair, and sat his girlfriend on his lap. I told him what a coward he was hiding behind his woman. He was not going to escape though. As he sat smiling behind the shield of his girlfriend, Hyde snapped. I threw a violent upper cut missing his girlfriend’s face, but catching his directly, sending both of them sprawling backwards onto the floor! The music stopped, the party was silent. My opponent jumped to his feet, looking like he was going to fight, then collected himself and refrained. I called him on, I called his woman crude names, nothing. I told him he was pathetic and turned away from him to re-enter the party. As I turned my buddy handed me a beer and told me to try and calm myself. At that exact moment I felt my head explode! I stumbled one step forward, quickly catching myself. Then the realization hit me. The coward sucker punched me! He wouldn’t fight me face to face, man to man, but the cowardly bully was willing to hit me from behind, again! The summer of three years past, was ancient history. There were no grade eights here tonight. No tail between the legs this time. Everything happened in mere seconds. I turned away, was handed a beer, was sucker punched, stumbled forward, then instinctively, pivoted quickly like a discus thrower, and smashed the full bottle of beer across the face of my enemy. Beer and blood splattered across the room! I saw blood, and Mr. Hyde went berserk! Instead of being horrified at what I had done, my lust for revenge was not satisfied. Instead my rage, exploded like a broken dam, flooding everything around it. The man before me stumbled back, in shock, and there I stood with the broken top half of the beer bottle in my hand. I grabbed this man I hated and began to stab him repeatedly in the face with the broken bottle, his screams of pain only fueling my attack.
Immediately one of the older guys grabbed me from behind, holding my arms behind me, and in a blink of an eye, the man in whom I stabbed repeatedly ran for the balcony and escaped by crawling over. He was rushed to the hospital for multiple stitches. His face would forever hold the scars that would remind him of our meeting that night.
The next day I waited for the police to come. For weeks I was emotionally sick. What had I done. What kind of person could do that to another human being? What was I becoming? The police never came. Sometimes people think that the worst thing that can happen to them is getting caught for their evil deeds. Getting caught often humbles a person and helps them turn from evil. Not getting caught can allow a person to continue to walk in their wickedness…thinking they are untouchable…which is really one of the greatest judgments imaginable against their evil …gradually but continually being transformed from Jekyll into Hyde…until finally the awful day comes when Jekyll cannot be found. When you look in the mirror…Hyde is the only one looking back.
The old saying is true, “You are what you eat.”
Sitting down to dine on hatred and revenge gradually but eventually causes you to become the very evil you thought you were fighting against.
There is a better way!
Thankfully, God is in the business of shattering the image of Mr. Hyde in the mirror [God doesn’t believe in bad luck…or good luck for that matter]. In mercy He pursues rebels who are wallowing in their wickedness. He does this to show them how empty and destructive their evil is [even though they view it as pleasure and even as life itself].
God conquers bitterness with forgiveness…God conquers hate with love…
God is love!