Where is Waldo? [At the 25th Reunion]
I am very glad I went to my 25th high school reunion.
I had a chance to talk, laugh and reminisce with some old friends...people who I spent my growing up years with...some of them...all the way back to grade 1!
I read on someone's facebook wall that they were very nerveous before actually going to the reunion...and this was coming from a person who was very attractive and popular in school...and by all appearances on reunion night...things hadn't changed much.
As I read that wall post...I had to admit...that I too was very nerveous about going to see all the old gang...maybe for different reasons...
As a Christian for 18 years...and a church leader/pastor...for many of those 18 years...I have come to understand to varying degrees the sense of not being understood.
I can still remember clearly not being a Christian...and looking weirdly at these people who live their lives for some guy who died, supposedly rose again...and now lives in the sky...it had a creepy feel to it...and then I met the guy in the sky...and everything changed.
So now going to the reunion...you hope that you can have a time of friendship...laughs...enjoying each others friendship...without queering people out...that you were still one of those "Christians"...
But all in all...I felt the night went by quite well...for me...anyways.
I have found for the last couple days...when I think back to the reunion...I am not envisioning the old familiar faces of the buddies I used to party with...I am seeing Waldo...hidden in the throng of laughing and light-hearted festivities.
Imagine going to your high school reunion...paying your money to get in...bringing your wife...and no one saying hi...no one acknowledging your existence...sitting at a table by yourself and wondering what your wife is thinking about you...what she is thinking about this crowd of people that surrounds you...that ignores you.
Imagine being the guy in high school that was labeled "loser" just because you were a little different, didn't have the clothes, the personality and charisma...
Imagine going to your 25th reunion...with your new wife [married two years], hoping to show people that you really weren't a loser...you had a job [bus driver], you have someone who loves you [a wife]...and you have a life together.
Perhaps you were hoping that these people after 25 years wouldn't still have their caste system...perhaps they would give you the time of day.
I will remember for quite some time...looking at Todd Morgan and his wife...sitting alone at their table...people walking by [including me]...seeming not to notice them.
I will remember my own good intentions...gone bad...as I several times planned on going up to talk...and yet always found someone else filling that time slot...
As I watched them go...I am glad I stopped Todd to see how he was doing...even if it does seem today...like too little too late...
I hope Todd finds an extra heaping amount of courage to come to the 30th...I am planning on taking some time to chat...because he is a person who God the Creator made in His own image...and therefore deserves honor and respect.
posted by Dale Callahan at 5:47 AM
2 Comments:
You have a great deal of compassion for all people, Dale, and it shows. When I went to my 20th reunion [a couple of years ago this coming June], I was quite nervous because in high school, I felt I never broke out of my shell of shyness. I had my group of friends, (there were around 8 of us that hung out together),and we got along well with lots of the other groups of students, but I recall feeling uncomfortable during my high school years to mingle with 'all' of the groups. (I felt shy of some of the other groups, I guess.)I was also nervous to attend our 20th reunion because I'd gained a lot of weight.[My Crohn's Disease seems to be taking a toll on me. That, and my darn aging metabolism! Argh! No excuse though, I should have worked out harder and eaten healthier. In high school, I was very slim, and had remained so until I hit around 35 years of age.] At our 20th reunion, it was such a great feeling to go and mingle with everyone, and to break free of that silly shell of shyness. At our 10th year reunion, people had still been in their cliques (me included :( ) and didn't branch out as we should have, but at the 20th reunion, it was fantastic how we all reached out to each other. Hugs, kind words, and love flowed freely that night. I felt badly though when someone who 'befriended' me on facebook from our grad class for our 20th year reunion (I was on the planning committee, so was one of the main contacts for our grads) began to post too many facebook messages, and invites to me, etc. in the following months and I felt bombarded. I debated about it for some time before pulling them off of my friend list. I've never done that before. I felt badly about doing so, but had felt too invaded. They had 'collected' a lot of friends by then, so I decided they might not notice if I left them. I don't think this was the Christian thing for me to do though, and should likely have kept him on as a friend. So just so you don't feel so badly, Dale - you're not the only one who saw a lonely person reaching out during a high school reunion, who may not have done the exact 'right' thing. :( I will say though, it was another excellent post on your blog that truly makes a person stop and think. I really hope that T.M. will choose to attend your 30th reunion, and that all will go well for him this time around. Perhaps in the meantime, he or you will find each other in cyber space, perhaps facebook, etc. :)
E.
I had a great time at the reunion and loved seeing everyone there! I had a wonderful visit with Todd and his wife! I too felt the pangs of highschool and was glad for the oportunity to stop and listen and hear another's story. Also listening to another whom I never really talked to then but did at the reunion.. she just moved in Grade ten and cried everyday for the first year... if I would have only known that then.. But I know better now and will go out of my way to say "hello" and try to come out of my shell and let other's in.
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