Where Are the Children?

I can remember when I didn't have children...it was quite a long time ago.

I can also remember getting together with people who did have kids...that's all they could talk about...their kids.

I would politely smile...laugh along with them...nod my head along with their story...

...but enough is enough...right?!

The problem?

I couldn't relate.

I had no idea of the incredible joy that came from being used of God, as an instrument, to bring another life into this world.

I had never invested my life into the life of another to such an extent that their life actually depended upon my actions.

Without this intense investment I couldn't relate to this intense love...God's love.

This all changed when Bonita and I began having children...but even then I began to see a life long lesson to be learned.

Bonita would be holding our first born, Melissa, and she would ask me a question that was filled with passion and love...she would say "Don't you just LOVE her?"

...of course I love her...I'm her dad!

...what kind of question is that!?

...but I didn't love her with the depth and passion that my wife was speaking of...what was wrong with me?

...it took me time to figure this out...but learn this lesson well...if you learn it you will learn the secret of a strong marriage, friendship, parent/child relationship...or any relationship.

The more you invest in a persons life, the more valuable they will become to you.

Love is a committment to do good to someone else...when you follow through with that committment, then the feelings of love follow.

Bonita was breast feeding Melissa, changing her diapers, and spending most of her waking moments investing in the child...the result...a deep and passionate love for the child.

As I began to invest in Melissa I began to feel that same love that my wife spoke of...amazing!

Now, our lives to a large extent are our children, we have become THOSE people who talk about our children when we talk about life...

...why? because God has given these children to us and much of our lives now revolve around them.

...teaching them, feeding them, spending time with them, guiding them, disciplinging them, learning about ourselves from them.

...in this relationship one must lower his/her maturity level for the purpose of fellowshipping with the child...not to stay at their level...but with patience to slowly bring the child to a level of adult maturity [of course this takes years...thus the patience].

Once you get a taste of having children...you honestly cannot imagine what life would be like without them...they bring life and joy and spontanaity into the home...and yes they are messy and rough around the edges.