Message For Brad And Alyssa Wedding

I did my first wedding a couple weeks ago...for a young couple in our church,
Brad and Alyssa Donovan...the groom [Brad] asked if I would post the wedding sermon on my blog...here it is.

Marriage and the Trinity
June 13, 2009

We hear in God’s Word today from the Book of 1 John 4: 7-8 “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Brad that Alyssa, you have each come here today, as individuals, to be joined in holy matrimony, and you have come freely of your own accord…and this is good!

But that is only part of the story! The God who loves you so much that He created each of, loves you so much that He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to pay for all your sins…is the same God who has orchestrated absolutely every detail of your life, down to the finest point, and has brought you both here today!

God’s word tells us that every good gift and every perfect gift comes from our Heavenly Father’s loving hand…this means…that God has given each of you, to one another, as a gift…and it’s a good gift!

Our God is the Master Artist…who will take your two lives, and will join them together to make a beautiful masterpiece.

Brad and Alyssa, today, you two are entering into the Covenant of Marriage…which is also a Covenant of Love.

And God has told you today, that if you really want to know what love is, then you need to look at Him…because He is love.

As we look to our God, we begin to get a clearer understanding of what true love is.

God’s word teaches us that our God has existed for all eternity. Before God ever created the heavens and the earth, He existed forever in three Persons…the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit…this is the teaching of the Trinity…and it is foundational to the Christian faith…and to a solid understanding of love and marriage.

God has existed forever in a perfect, harmonious relationship between the Persons of the Godhead!

Each of the Persons [Father, Son, and Holy Spirit] living in an unbroken, perfect relationship of Love.

A relationship that is totally void of selfishness, or self centeredness!

Each of the Person’s seeking first foremost to bring good to the others. Each joyful, and willfully seeking the honor and glory of one another.

Within God, there exists perfect communication…each of the Persons selflessly and intimately revealing themselves in love, edification and blessing, and openly and willingly receiving the same.

All three of the Persons within the Trinity are perfectly united in absolutely every aspect of their relationship.

Our God exists, not as an isolated individual, but in an intimate relationship.

This is why, even before sin had entered into the world, God looked at the beautiful, wondrous creation that He had made…and said that something was NOT good!

God said that it was NOT good that the man was alone…that man didn’t have a suitable partner to live with, love with, fellowship with…and shine forth the glory of God with!

So, as God is One…but mysteriously many [three]…God took man [one]…and from him made many [the two]…

God made Adam fall into a deep sleep, and out of his side He brought forth Eve. God hand picked and hand prepared the wife [Eve], for her husband [Adam]…and at the same time prepared the husband also for the wife…God has done the same today…

He has prepared you Alyssa for Brad…and He has prepared you Brad for Alyssa!
But, if we want to understand God’s perfect love in our marriages…we must NOT fix our gaze upon Adam and Eve…for even though they were created by God, to shine forth and reflect the harmonious, selfless relationship of love that existed in their Creator…they did not!

On the contrary, Adam and Eve each acted selfishly…each seeking their own good, each seeking to honor and glorify “self”… not “other”…which brought death to their relationship with God, and brought misery, disharmony and alienation into their marriage relationship with each other.

Instead of looking upon the first Adam and his Bride…I would like to give you words of encouragement by pointing each of you to fix your eyes upon the Lord Jesus Christ, the God/man, the Last Adam, and His relationship with His bride…the church…and also His relationship with His Heavenly Father.

Brad, God has called you to be the “head” of your wife, and if God blesses you with children, of your future children also. Jesus tells you that this doesn’t mean that you lord your headship over your wife and children. Look to Jesus, who as God, didn’t come to be served…but to serve, and give His life a ransom for His wife!


By God’s grace, you must learn to be a servant leader, a man who sacrificially lays down his life, for the good and well being of his wife…all the days of your life!

May this sacrificial love not be in word only, as Peter’s was towards Jesus…saying he would lay down his life…but in the end couldn’t even pray for Jesus for an hour.

Learn how to serve Alyssa in the “so called” small things, helping around the house, helping with the children…learning to look into her life and discern where help is needed.

Brad, as the “head” of this marriage…God is calling you to take responsibility as Jesus did. Jesus came lovingly to teach His bride, came to encourage her, enable and strengthen her, to patiently and gently lead and guide her, and to bring healing into all areas of her life…His bride singly holding all the affections of His heart.

Jesus took His bride’s sin very seriously…not condemning her for it…but taking the responsibility for her sins upon Himself…and was willing to suffer for her…so that she might receive blessings.

Was Jesus to blame for His wife’s sins…no!…but He took responsibility for them…and is abundantly merciful and forgiving towards her…do likewise with Allysa.

Brad, learn how to lovingly communicate with Alyssa. Jesus told his disciples that all things that he heard from His Father, He made known to them. Be open to share your heart, dreams and plans with Alyssa.

I encourage you to share willingly and sympathetically, your joys and worries, your successes and struggles, and to be neither conceited by the former nor depressed by the latter. Whichever may prevail, cling closely to each other, that defeats may be met by a united strength and victories by a united joy.

This is very important Brad! Never be too proud to admit your shortcomings and failures. Instead, may you take the initiative to make things right. Alyssa will love and respect you for your humility. Your transparency will not cause Alyssa to distrust you…quite the opposite…she will see your humble heart…a heart willing to submit to God’s word…God’s prompting…and it will cause her trust for you to grow.

Brad, as Jesus is the Prophet, Priest, and King for His bride [church], you also must learn to be so with Alyssa.

As Prophet--diligently bring God’s word into your home, in a spirit of love, humility, patience, and kindness. I know you love to study and read Brad, as you do so come along side of Alyssa and share with her all the glorious things you are learning.

As Priest-- spend time listening to Alyssa as she shares her heart, her struggles, pains, and also her hopes and dreams…learn to really listen…learn to really enter into her joys and sufferings. Spend time daily, praying for Alyssa and with Alyssa, Devote your energies not only to your advancements in the faith…but be equally concerned to see Alyssa grow in God’s grace.

As King--always seek Alyssa’s safety and protection…learning how to protect and shield her from physical, emotional and verbal attacks. As you make plans for your home…remember that your wife is going to be one of your greatest advisors. Work out your life plans with Alyssa…God will enrich your plans with added wisdom, as your wife shares things from her vantage point.

Finally, Brad, remember that the Bible clearly teaches us that God doesn’t love His Bride because of her great loveliness! There is nothing in us that deserves God’s love. Instead, we are told that we love God…because He first loved us.

In like manner, do not love Alyssa, only when you feel she is acting lovely…instead, love her at all times, trusting that your constant love will help Alyssa herself grow and blossom in love.



Alyssa, I also want to encourage you to fix your eyes and heart upon the Lord Jesus Christ…to give you wisdom and strength in your very important role as a wife.

As Brad’s wife you are called by God to submit to Brad’s headship…realizing that Jesus, Himself submitted to the headship of His Father, and He did so willingly and joyfully.
Does this mean that Jesus was somehow “lesser” or “inferior” to His Father? Not at all! Jesus Christ is God the Son…fully God, equal with the Father…but He willingly humbled himself to come to earth to do His Father’s will…to bring glory and honor and praise to His Father’s name…on earth as it was already in heaven.

In the same way, Alyssa, you and Brad are equals, you are not lesser or inferior. As Brad’s equal you are still called to submit to his leadership…humbly and joyfully living your life for his good, for his honor [while he is seeking your good, honoring you]…inter-Trinitarian love!

I will be honest with you Alyssa, there will be many times where submission will come easy…because you will heartily agree with Brad’s choices, and it will be clearly evident that his decision is for the good of all…including yourself.
But at other times…things won’t seem so clear…it will seem like Brad’s plan is bringing much discomfort into your lives. Look to the Lord Jesus, Alyssa, and learn from Him…

In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus’ was greatly troubled…He knew that His Father’s plan involved much displeasure and suffering on His part…what did He do? First, He humbly spoke to His Father, asking/pleading with Him if the plans could be altered, and He did this repeatedly. But in the end, Jesus submitted to His Father’s authority and final answer…in humility saying… Not My will…but Your will be done.

Alyssa, you are called not only to submit to Brad’s headship…you are also called to be his “helper”. Unfortunately, there are people today who misunderstand the word “helper” to be demeaning toward the wife…please do not fall into this trap…for it is truly a badge of honor!

When we read the Psalms God Himself says He is our Helper…and I am sure that the Infinitely wise, loving and powerful God is not demeaning Himself by doing so. Remember, that God’s economy and man’s are polar opposites…Jesus said that the “greatest will be servant of all”.

God has given man the command to be fruitful and multiply and to fill the earth…and also to subdue it. God has given Brad specific talents, abilities and gifts…and God has also given you specific talents, abilities and gifts.

Alyssa, you must learn, by God’s grace, to use your God-given abilities to compliment, strengthen, and uphold the abilities that God has given to Brad…when you do so…the fruit will be plentiful and long lasting…

To do this, again you must follow our Lord Jesus’ example, who spent much time alone with His Father [speaking with Him in prayer, and listening to His Father’s heart of guidance]…may you “help” encourage Brad to live this pattern out in your marriage. Spend much time together, value and highly esteem your relationship as husband and wife [being second only to that of your relationship with God], share your hopes and dreams with each other, help Brad to work out a Christ glorifying vision for your marriage.

Finally, Alyssa, I want to encourage you in one more area…a very, very important responsibility for you as Brad’s wife. The honor of motherhood, if God so chooses to bless you with children.

Right before His ascension into heaven…Jesus gave His disciples [church/bride] a “Great” commission! Jesus told His bride to get busy making disciples [spiritual children] of the all the nations…baptizing and teaching them all things that Jesus instructed. [The Church is the Mother of all God’s children]

The Bride of Christ is to be busy birthing and raising spiritual children …for her husband…the Lord Jesus…it is her high calling…a great honor.


So too, may you delight in this high calling in your life! Realizing that raising children to mature and love the Lord Jesus Christ, in all areas of their life, is one of the most needed, and most important callings in the world today. It is the future of Christ’s kingdom! Delight yourself in this calling…and diligently give yourself to it.

Brad and Alyssa, God has given me the privilege today, to be able to preach a short sermon…on how the marriage between a man and his wife points to the greater reality of the relationship between the Lord Jesus and His Bride…the church…and also how the love within marriage also points to the inter-Trinitarian love that is within God Himself…

…but now…my sermon has come to an end…and your sermon…is just beginning!

By your marriage you will proclaim a message to the watching world…about God’s great love. As you learn to honor and glorify each other above yourself. As you learn to sacrificially put one another’s needs above your own. As you learn to serve one another…instead of demanding to “be served”. And… as you use your speech and actions to build one another up and promote one another…being singly devoted to one another…the world will hear and see…the love of our Triune God…

May the sermon you both preach in your marriage…be very long…and very fruitful indeed.

Amen!