Play with the Bully...and get the horns!

Have you ever picked up something...that at first seemed fairly valuable...but after a long time in your pocket, weighed heavy...proving to be more of a burden than a precious treasure?

Our repeated choices become habits and our ongoing habits [whether they be good or bad] build our characters...

As I write certain stories of my life...it may seem that I pick out the nasty ones...I don't do this to try and make myself appear more wicked then I was...I write these stories because they have stuck in my brain and have asked to be let out. I write them because, for good or bad, they set in motion choices, ideas, habits that influenced future events in my life. I write them as an older man...looking back on some of the events of his life...grateful for forgiveness and repeated second chances.

Have you ever mixed vinegar and baking soda together? If you have, you will know that the outcome is a violent chemical reaction...much fizzle and sizzle...

Somewhere along the line I picked up character traits that mirrored this chemical reaction in my life. There must have been something in my life that cried for attention...and I discovered at an early age that I got more attention being bad then if I quietly sat and behaved...

Being the class clown always drew much attention...good and bad. It drew the laughs of my peers [which I longed for...good attention...I thought]...and it drew the frown and discipline from my teachers [I didn't long for the punishments they dished out...but the attention was still acceptable].

I also found that I received a fair amount of attention by trying to put on the tough guy mask. I wore this mask for many years. It still asks to be tried on for size...even after 43 years. What I regret most about my tough guy mask isn't about the fights I have been in over the years [although I do regret the fights]...what I regret is the "Bully" that I was to many of the people I went to school with. I watch movies with "Bullies" in them to this day...with red-faced shame...thinking back to many of the jerk things I said and did to my classmates. Did I receive their attention?...yes! Did I receive attention from the teachers? Err...yeah...I received that too. I was in the school office so much that my schools had invented speed dial years before it actually hit the public market [joking of course].

I have come to understand after many years that not all attention is worthy of your attention. Some attention is best served when you are full, without the slightest appetite...so that you won't be tempted to even nibble at it. Attention drawn to yourself at the cost of another person's happiness or dignity should be avoided like the plague!

My apologies go out to my classmates throughout our years together...for any unkind, tormenting, or even cruel words and deeds I threw your way!

Did I understand what it was like to be on the brunt end of the Bully's horns?

I did indeed...you see...when you are in school...there are usually older bulls in the pen with you. I found throughout the years, there were times when I was given a taste of what the 'Bullied' felt like. Older, stronger and meaner Bullies giving me a bitter taste of my own medicine. Unfortunately, being bullied didn't wake me up to the reality of the misery that I was inflicting on others. We can often be very keen -eyed when it comes to spotting other peoples evils against us...and literally blind at our own offenses, being dished out in heaping proportions into other people's lives.

With the Lord's help I have relentless torn at the Bully mask upon my face...seeking to do others good...and not harm.

I still find a bit of the class clown in me...that mischievous voice that likes pulling pranks and jokes...I just try to tone it down...hoping that my pranks do not harm others...try and keep it in good fun.

I have one "Bully" story that effected my choices, habits and future greatly...it will be the story that I share next time...